HOW TO TELL THE PERSON STALKING YOU TO MIND THEIR OWN BUSINESS

Stalking is defined as repeated and unwanted attention, harassment, contact, or any other behavior directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to feel fear.

The relentless neurotic nature of the stalker can take the form of harassing their targets, calling them repeatedly, as well as sending letters and gifts. If these are ineffective, the individual may escalate to more intrusive behaviors such as spying on, and unexpectedly confronting their victims.

Mullen Schuler defined stalkers as individuals who have experienced, rejection, the unwanted end of a close relationship, with a parent, work associate, lover, or acquaintance. When this stalker’s attempts to reconcile fail, they frequently seek revenge. But their revenge is always evil, brutish, disturbing, and in many cases, stupid.

Girls, or women for that matter are obsessed stalkers. For example, a lunch date with an opposite sex coworker may make them not only jealous, but be a portent of the breakup of the relationship (splitting). From appetizer to dessert, expect your cell phone to ring incessantly. After you turn it off, expect 20 text messages from your girlfriend starting with mild "how are you's?" and ending with desperate pleas of, "if you don't call me now this relationship is over!" Men on the other hand don’t mind. They capitalize. They can be bad. And this is where they fry themselves. They expose themselves more to stalkers.

There is this Narcissist. He or she feels entitled to your time, attention, admiration, and resources. Interprets every rejection as an act of aggression which leads to a narcissistic injury. Reacts with sustained rage and vindictiveness. Can turn violent because he feels omnipotent and immune to the consequences of his actions. Tell him or her to grow up.

Even with many precautions, these people are likely to find you, furious that you have fled and evaded him, raging at your newfound existence, suspicious and resentful of your freedom and personal autonomy. Violence is more than likely. Unless deterred, paranoid former spouses tend to be harmful, even lethal. Erotomaniacs are lonely, socially-inapt people. And that is perhaps the reason all their business is about other people’s businesses. So you are having such a person on your facebook, twitter, instagram, Pinterest, LinkedIn?? Tell them to first handle their ass before they come to yours!! It can hurt, but that’s the language they understand.

 Sometimes, the stress is so onerous and so infuriating that you feel like striking back at the stalker. Don't do it. Don't play his/her bullsh** game.

The other behavioural extreme is equally futile and counterproductive. Do not try to buy peace by appeasing your abuser. Submissiveness and attempts to reason with him or her only whet the stalker's appetite. He/she regards both as contemptible weaknesses, vulnerabilities s/he can exploit. You cannot communicate with a paranoid because s/he is likely to distort everything you say to support his persecutory delusions, sense of entitlement, and grandiose fantasies. You cannot appeal to his or her emotions – s/he has none, at least not positive ones.

SIGNS YOU ARE AN OBSESSED STALKER

1. You Know When People Use Facebook.

How do you know this?  Because you’ve observed and recognized that she updates at these times.

That means, somewhere in your brain, you have registered Sarah’s Facebook Usage-Times, and forgot something else that was totally important.

Like your PIN.

2. You Know You Weren’t Invited Somewhere Because You Saw The Pictures.

There’s nothing more painful than not being invited somewhere. Wait. Not being invited somewhere, then being affronted with the pictures of people having a great time without you to ruin it for them. That’s more painful.

3. You Know Where People Work Without Even Asking Them.

Hey how’s the job at TD bank?

Did I tell you- I never told you I worked there.

Really?  Weird.  I wonder how I knew that.  And the fact that you had a company retreat last weekend in Tribeka or K1 Club

Why are you nude right now?

Just because.

4. You know someone’s not In a Relationship Anymore Because They Removed All Pictures of Themselves with ‘Him’

Screw the relationship status; she removed all the pictures of her and that douche bag. Congrats!

You keep doing it on WhatsApp too. Grow up!!

5. If Someone Quits Facebook, You Panic And Believe They Blocked You.

The instant you realize someone’s no longer your friend, you lose your shit.

Hi Samantha, I’m Dee.  You don’t really know me, but I added you through the “People You May Know Window” on Facebook because you looked hot.

Did you block me on Facebook, Samantha?

6. You’ve been 50 Pictures In On an Album of a Friend-of-A-Friend.

If you’re in an album for fifteen minutes and don’t know anyone in the pictures, congratulations!   You’ve reached the apex of creepynessdom.

7. You Poke Someone You Don’t Know That Well, Hoping It Will Lead to Intercourse.

Update: Samantha hasn’t poked me back yet.

8. Blocking You Only Makes You Stronger.

Putting you on Limited Profile is just another way of her saying she loves you.

9. You Admit To Being A Facebook Stalker,  But Stop Short Of Admitting To How Alarming You Really Are.

You always brag of knowing much about other people. Yako imekushinda? It’s always hilarious to be at a party and say I don’t care, I’ll admit that I’m a Facebook stalker! And then you giggle.  And other people giggle.

But inside, deep inside, you don’t tell them the nights you’ve stalked them. The clothing they own that you’ve memorized.  The way you’ve judged their past lovers.  The pain of knowing you cannot stop.

The dark, horrible reality that you have a real problem..

10. You Actually Found This Article WHILE Stalking.

If you found this article posted on the Facebook wall of a person you’re stalking, holy shit!