Sunday 16 August 2015

OF FACEBOOK NARCISSISTS AND THEIR GRANDIOSE EXHIBITIONIST TENDENCIES


When I wrote recently about the strange phenomenon of Facebook’s popularity with the self-absorbed (Why Narcissists Love Facebook), not even I could have guessed the apparent scope of the eye-popping stupidity and utter lack of judgement that some Facebook users are actually capable of openly demonstrating. And because it came as it did, they turned me for a punching bag.

Before you start condemning me, and calling me stupid, clueless, or narcissistic, here is a point. Most young people post photos on Instagram or Facebook to show off, or to fit in. Remember, those who fit in have no idea of their own, no wonder they do what others do. They have weak minds, non interesting ideas, and to say the least, boring by nature and body language, never dream, believe Facebook serves them right, and in many cases, are nauseating dependants on friends, parents, and acquaintances.

When disaster happens, signature feature of the live television news coverage will be the sea of bystanders with arms raised capturing countless images of violence, arson and looting via their cell phone cameras.  When an accident occurs, someone chucks out a Smartphone first before thinking of first aid. When children drowned in Mombasa, swimmers left for their phones to capture how the parents were crying.

Remember the other day when you were in hospital, your so called friends took more photos with you than they contributed to your accumulating bill. And on their wall, I read something like, “We are with you bro, quick recovery”. Really??

When a relation passed on the other day, you realized that the people who made it to the funeral are those you call acquaintances, and not those who help you burn your cash. I hope you learnt who is a friend.

When Jadudi and Ezra were calling for donations, all that these Facebookers did was to post photos, “Pamoja na Jadudi”, and never contributed even 10 bob. But this post was overshadowed by numerous posts of their not so curvy bodies; make up-ed faces, exposed breasts, borrowed shoes, and photos in peoples’ homes, or courtesy coffee dates from serious Friends.

Nowadays, before one eats at the InterContinental, on a sponsorship of an NGO training you on contraceptives, they snap the food first. They never pray as the case should be. When they go home, and get their brother’s new car, they post, “My coolest new ride”. And that is the person who owes you sh. 100. When they visit their uncle’s place in Ridgeways, and the Aunt who stays in South C, they take photos beside his 44 inch wall screen, or her beautifully landscaped lawn and post, “Home sweet home”. And that is the girl who doesn’t want to go to her Shamakhokho home.

Lately, campus students attend free events to take photos with the Dj, Squeeze at a table with empty bottles of liquor and say, “Kupatia mwili pole”.  Posts of house parties, whose budget they have no idea of form part of their posts. Worse still, if you want to impress and win average campus girls, post photos of a photo with a celebrity anchor, musicians or comedian, and caption it, “With my best pal, Octopizzo” And to awe the wannabe expensive girl, just show the photos while at the airport when you went to receive a relation, and caption, “back from a two week business trip in Dubai”.

Apparently, those who post so much do very little in their lives. They will get worried when they see their friends posting photos in Malaysia, where they were on holiday. They have snide thoughts when they learn of your wedding, and say, “Huyo dem alipenda pesa tu, hakuna mapenzi hapo”. And if for any case things went bad somewhere, she will say, “Wish you the best” when the fact is, she is saying, may it break soon. These facebookers have never been more evil.

There’s a direct link between the number of friends you have on Facebook and the degree to which you qualify as a “socially disruptive” narcissist. Just for the record, in a previous 2010 study on college students, narcissism was explained as “a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration and an exaggerated sense of self-importance.”

Study participants who scored highly on something called the Narcissistic Personality Inventory questionnaire apparently had more friends on Facebook, tagged themselves more often, and updated their status and profile pictures more frequently. The research comes amid “increasing evidence that self-absorbed young people are becoming increasingly obsessed with self-image and shallow friendships.”  I’m just saying . . . 

A number of previous studies have linked narcissism with Facebook use, but, as reported in The Guardian: “This study shows some of the first evidence of a direct relationship between Facebook friends and the most toxic elements of narcissistic personality disorder.”
Please note, before you start sputtering off defensive responses: remember that all Facebookers are narcissists, but merely that those with narcissistic tendencies really, really love Facebook. So do people who need to tell the world what they just ordered at Starbucks.



THE WRITER IS AN ACTUARY, SPEAKER AND LIFE ENTHUSIAST

Wednesday 12 August 2015

HOW TO TELL THE PERSON STALKING YOU TO MIND THEIR OWN BUSINESS


Stalking is defined as repeated and unwanted attention, harassment, contact, or any other behavior directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to feel fear.
The relentless neurotic nature of the stalker can take the form of harassing their targets, calling them repeatedly, as well as sending letters and gifts. If these are ineffective, the individual may escalate to more intrusive behaviors such as spying on, and unexpectedly confronting their victims.
Mullen Schuler defined stalkers as individuals who have experienced, rejection, the unwanted end of a close relationship, with a parent, work associate, lover, or acquaintance. When this stalker’s attempts to reconcile fail, they frequently seek revenge. But their revenge is always evil, brutish, disturbing, and in many cases, stupid.

Girls, or women for that matter are obsessed stalkers. For example, a lunch date with an opposite sex coworker may make them not only jealous, but be a portent of the breakup of the relationship (splitting). From appetizer to dessert, expect your cell phone to ring incessantly. After you turn it off, expect 20 text messages from your girlfriend starting with mild "how are you's?" and ending with desperate pleas of, "if you don't call me now this relationship is over!" Men on the other hand don’t mind. They capitalize. They can be bad. And this is where they fry themselves. They expose themselves more to stalkers.

There is this Narcissist. He or she feels entitled to your time, attention, admiration, and resources. Interprets every rejection as an act of aggression which leads to a narcissistic injury. Reacts with sustained rage and vindictiveness. Can turn violent because he feels omnipotent and immune to the consequences of his actions. Tell him or her to grow up.

Even with many precautions, these people are likely to find you, furious that you have fled and evaded him, raging at your newfound existence, suspicious and resentful of your freedom and personal autonomy. Violence is more than likely. Unless deterred, paranoid former spouses tend to be harmful, even lethal. Erotomaniacs are lonely, socially-inapt people. And that is perhaps the reason all their business is about other people’s businesses. So you are having such a person on your facebook, twitter, instagram, Pinterest, LinkedIn?? Tell them to first handle their ass before they come to yours!! It can hurt, but that’s the language they understand.

 Sometimes, the stress is so onerous and so infuriating that you feel like striking back at the stalker. Don't do it. Don't play his/her bullsh** game.

The other behavioural extreme is equally futile and counterproductive. Do not try to buy peace by appeasing your abuser. Submissiveness and attempts to reason with him or her only whet the stalker's appetite. He/she regards both as contemptible weaknesses, vulnerabilities s/he can exploit. You cannot communicate with a paranoid because s/he is likely to distort everything you say to support his persecutory delusions, sense of entitlement, and grandiose fantasies. You cannot appeal to his or her emotions – s/he has none, at least not positive ones.

SIGNS YOU ARE AN OBSESSED STALKER

1. You Know When People Use Facebook.
How do you know this?  Because you’ve observed and recognized that she updates at these times.
That means, somewhere in your brain, you have registered Sarah’s Facebook Usage-Times, and forgot something else that was totally important.
Like your PIN.

2. You Know You Weren’t Invited Somewhere Because You Saw The Pictures.
There’s nothing more painful than not being invited somewhere. Wait. Not being invited somewhere, then being affronted with the pictures of people having a great time without you to ruin it for them. That’s more painful.

3. You Know Where People Work Without Even Asking Them.
Hey how’s the job at TD bank?
Did I tell you- I never told you I worked there.
Really?  Weird.  I wonder how I knew that.  And the fact that you had a company retreat last weekend in Tribeka or K1 Club
Why are you nude right now?
Just because.

4. You know someone’s not In a Relationship Anymore Because They Removed All Pictures of Themselves with ‘Him’
Screw the relationship status; she removed all the pictures of her and that douche bag. Congrats!
You keep doing it on WhatsApp too. Grow up!!

5. If Someone Quits Facebook, You Panic And Believe They Blocked You.
The instant you realize someone’s no longer your friend, you lose your shit.
Hi Samantha, I’m Dee.  You don’t really know me, but I added you through the “People You May Know Window” on Facebook because you looked hot.
Did you block me on Facebook, Samantha?

6. You’ve been 50 Pictures In On an Album of a Friend-of-A-Friend.
If you’re in an album for fifteen minutes and don’t know anyone in the pictures, congratulations!   You’ve reached the apex of creepynessdom.

7. You Poke Someone You Don’t Know That Well, Hoping It Will Lead to Intercourse.
Update: Samantha hasn’t poked me back yet.

8. Blocking You Only Makes You Stronger.
Putting you on Limited Profile is just another way of her saying she loves you.

9. You Admit To Being A Facebook Stalker,  But Stop Short Of Admitting To How Alarming You Really Are.
You always brag of knowing much about other people. Yako imekushinda? It’s always hilarious to be at a party and say I don’t care, I’ll admit that I’m a Facebook stalker! And then you giggle.  And other people giggle.
But inside, deep inside, you don’t tell them the nights you’ve stalked them. The clothing they own that you’ve memorized.  The way you’ve judged their past lovers.  The pain of knowing you cannot stop.
The dark, horrible reality that you have a real problem..

10. You Actually Found This Article WHILE Stalking.
If you found this article posted on the Facebook wall of a person you’re stalking, holy shit!


THE HELL THAT IS QUARTER LIFE CRISIS

Facing so many uncertainties, twentysomethings are at constant odds with themselves being incredibly ambitious but painfully indecisive. Being in your young twenties is a lot like hanging off the edge of a cliff. There, you can't afford to panic. You just focus on not dying and hoisting yourself up to the secure ledge. Once safe, on the ledge, you freak out and can't imagine how it was that you survived. That's what being a young-20-something is. No secure career path. No secure housing. No secure relationship. No secure ownership over much of anything worthwhile. No idea where you will be in two months, let alone two years. No secure footing. Not even a ledge in sight. When we are thirty, God willing, by thirty, we are going to look back on this time and wonder "How did I not fall to my death?”

After teenage years spent in angst over the lack of freedom that comes with living under your parents’ roof, you finally have independence. Now what? You could be plopped into a new world and met with the slightly terrifying pressures of making worthy your life. But the problem is you neither know right, left or centre of what you really ought to be doing. The deeply enticing narratives of age mates, blowing their millions inspire bloated ambitions. At the same time, they trigger feelings of unworthiness, and stir more anxiety, especially if you have nothing to write home about. When laid out like that, your twenties sound like a fragile and tumultuous time.

You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought you would be doing. You realize that you are going to have to start at the bottom and you are scared. It worsens when your pay slip features three quarters deductions, HELB and loans leading, while your friends expect you to be in the latest fashion outfits, and always laugh at your C300 Nokia phone. You toy around entertaining business mentality, only to be elbowed away by the unimaginable cost of starting any serious business endeavour. This is the point when you wish you could blow off the brains of the broke cousins asking for sh. 500.

After campus, you start(ed) realizing that people are selfish and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. Talk of when the least attractive girl in campus gets a chance to explain her entrepreneurial ideas with the world’s most powerful man. What you do not realize is that they too, are not really cold or catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.
The excitement you had at graduation wanes as days go by and you realize no one is calling you after dropping your CVs in 103 organizations. It will take them so long to get back to you until you get the point: they don’t make more jobs today than they churn out graduates. You will know what it means to be an adult and broke.

Matters get complicated after getting in many affairs, only to marry the wrong person, and spend half a decade of your early 30s in divorce or child maintenance suits. Worse still, the language of love (or lack of) is no longer sweet scented scintillating words, but the wads of cash in your wallet.  
Around this time, for those who thought career is more important than family, start getting calls from parents detailing how their childhood friends’ kids are intelligent and beautiful. It pains when the girl you least love is your mum’s favourite. And there the question hammers, “You want me to die without seeing my grandchildren?”

Higher expectations breed more disappointments and disillusionment.  Three years out of college, you do not have a job. Self-loathing and reproaching sets in. This often coincides with HELB reminding you to repay that loan, which they are fining you Ksh. 5,000 monthly, anyway. Some will have to stick with bad and unsatisfying jobs. Some will quit. Life will be harsh on you so much you will wonder why you were born bright. Your colleagues who went to tertiary colleges or joined the military are buying houses, getting married and having a life. You soon discover we don’t author our own lives.

Today, when so much social interaction among young adults is done digitally, the negative impact of the Internet is far greater, especially for younger generations. With dating, meetings, calls and even work done from bedrooms and at best, coffee shops, how could you not feel lonely and isolated?
Damian Barr, in his book, Get It Together: A Guide To Surviving your Quarter-Life Crisis describes these feelings perfectly. “You may be 25 but feel 45. You expected to be having the time of your life but all you do is stress about career prospects, scary debts and a rocky relationship.” Perhaps even as bluntly as Barr puts it “If your life was a movie it would go straight to Netflix, but nobody would rent it. Not even you.” Harsh, isn’t it? Admittedly, Barr captures his own crisis in chapter seven explaining that “There could have been a lot of red eyes at graduation, but maybe it would have managed my expectations? I'm 25 but am working in a largely unrelated field having just left university”.

While it is assuring that elsewhere worldwide, twentysomethings are wondering "is this it?" it is sad, Dr. Ruth Wanjau notes, these crises are happening earlier. “The younger generation expects more than their parents did, but it’s also harder for young people today than it was for their parents”, explains the Chemistry lecturer at Kenyatta University. Dr Wanjau observes that during their time, they didn’t have to fight for their first job in a depressed global economy and banks offered mortgages without asking for a lottery-win sized guarantee.”

Alice Mwangi, a graduate working in a local bank, mirrors this sentiment exactly, “I’m 24, I have a degree but after countless interviews I still have no luck. So, I do a job I don’t like, swim in my overdraft and live with my parents, who at my age were married with a house and kids.”
Vincent Momanyi, a 24-year old medical student says “I frequently question what I’m doing and feel trapped knowing that my career is set out for me.” It's as if everyone’s feeling the exact same way, even those who seem to have it all worked out. JKUAT’s Software Engineering student, Gordon Okello, 24, and owner of popular app, Quick Links, shares the same thoughts. “Every day I am faced with a million reasons why I am likely to fail," he admits. "In starting my own company I have made my own crisis and have set myself on a long and uncertain road, prolonging the feeling of gut-wrenching fragility.”

The confusion marring this group could be traced in high school where students are spoilt for choice on what to pursue in campus as Prof Joseph Nyasani of the University of Nairobi notes. “A large number of university students are studying what they do not like, and end up, so much later in life, making a career parallel to their training”, notes the author of 36 titles and several philosophy papers. Nyasani explains that unlike in the past where life was almost a pre written script, today, it is more about luck, which has heightened anxiety, confusion, and inability to make relevant choices. Higher education is becoming more expensive, and its degrees less distinguishing.

“Parents are expecting more than ever before.  They do not want to associate with their children who do not have money. In fact, they scorn them for being dumb and lazy”, says Mohamed Hassan, a businessman. Nowadays, for you to have a voice in the family you must be ‘loaded’, or so it seems. Age, indeed, has proven to be just a number. Your younger moneyed sister can dictate you.

Comparison crisis

Former US president, Theodore Roosevelt could once note that comparison is the theft of joy. And indeed, those in their twenties lack the joy.  In comparing themselves with  friends and if their achievements and goals match up with theirs, it gets maddening when on Instagram that they see photos of their  holiday in Dubai, or a honeymoon in San Francisco’s  Robert Louis Stevenson State Park. You find yourself becoming judgmental. You might find yourself thinking snide thoughts about developments in your friends’ lives, like “What’s so great about being married at 22-years old? How boring…” You might even compare yourself with your parents and what they had achieved by the time they were your age. And finally, comparing yourself with your own expectations, which you are just 10% done!

“No one prepares us for post-university revelations such as ‘dream jobs’ don't exist (but unemployment does) and finding a ‘right one’ is virtually impossible”, says 23 year-old Julia Kivanga, a final year Sociology Student at The University of Nairobi.

Nikki Elot, 27, who runs Mwangaza Girls Educations Centre in Samburu, lived and worked in London for five years and readily admits she suffered from – and thankfully been through the quarter life crisis. “I would describe what I went through as a prolonged identity crisis," she says. "Having been defined by education up until 22, it was very difficult to find my place in the real world. Aspects of my life suddenly didn’t count in the same way.” She has now found joy educating girls and saving them from early marriages, than her first world life in Britain’s capital.

Elsewhere, Phoebe Onwong’a, 25, and currently in a ‘dead-end job’ in  a supplies company , confesses she’s panicking: “I recently wrote down goals I want to achieve by the time I am 30 and it’s terrifying how little time I have left.”

The new norm of not settling down

The world is increasingly pressurizing everyone, from babies and children to adults, to achieve their personal milestones in life as early as possible.  When a lady surpasses the 25 year old mark, she becomes a subject of cruel speculation if she hasn’t rang wedding bells. Men may well be accused of having dead “transformers”, something that can kill self esteem. Our parents had to deal with having babies younger which was arguably the bum deal. 29 year old Freshly Mwadeghu, agrees that three decades ago, the youth were they nested in their goldmines with real-life things like marriage, jobs and babies. Fast-forward to today, Mwadeghu asserts, at the same age, we are paying through the nose to simply exist in Nairobi and would jump at the chance of owning a kiosk in our apartments. “In fact, most people under 27, when asked, have no plans of having babies”, he opines.

Clinical psychologist Dr Lucy Ngatia warns twentysomethings not to entertain confusion but rather start planning their lives right now. “Find the right partner as soon as possible, soul search on your passion, get committed to your goals and work hard”, Dr. Ngatia advises. According to Ngatia, people in their 20s are not moving forward with their lives because they are lazy and indecisive.
However, her colleague, Rachael Lozi, a professional counselor believes there is an upside to forcibly delaying your future. “Deciding to share your life with someone should not be an arbitrary goal. Marrying and starting a family as soon as you can is no guarantee of happiness. Arguably, you are better prepared if you mature as a single adult, instead of starting a family when you are still growing up. You can't hurry love.”

Confused in jobs

It would seem that going to work Monday morning is a nightmare at daybreak. Most people, 80% according to Deloitte Kenya’s Shift Index survey, are dissatisfied with their jobs. While some unhappy employees muster up the courage to change careers, others opt to grin and bear it. What about when the career decision is not yours to make? “In the waning economy, company-downsizes have put many workers in an unexpected predicament” explains human resource expert Faith Mwendwa. Many youths who get laid off must re-evaluate their lives. And rather than pound the pavement for a new job, many are turning to entrepreneurship, with complicates their uncertainties, Mwendwa explains. As Economist Dr. Edwin Mwai observes, “With the unemployment rate apparently stuck at double digits, more people seem to be choosing a passion they are confused about or stay in jobs to survive”.

Father Dennis Ekeno, a Catholic priest advises that when you worry so much about work and money, they seem to be running further from you. “The best thing is to love what you do, put more effort. God always blesses those who give their best”.

But many Kenyans do not really love what they do, at least according to some studies. In a 2014 State of the Kenyan Workplace study by Moi University Human Resource finalists, 70 percent of the 7,000 people surveyed in various platforms described themselves as “disengaged” from their work. Those who show up but are “disengaged” made up the biggest category at 52 percent of workers. The remaining 18 percent are people actively disengaged — those who vocally express their discontent in the workplace.

The study takes a close look at the role of managers and their ability to inspire workers. Most of the discontent stemmed from “bosses from hell” who didn’t foster talents, growth, or creativity, especially for the recent graduate to join their companies. In the long run, it was estimated that between sh. 250 and sh.400 billion are wasted annually because of “bad managers” and disengaged young workers who hate their jobs. These losses arose from laziness at work, errors, truancy, conflicts and theft.
A 2013 research by Gallup International, an American Research firm, reveals findings that are striking if not surprising. The highest levels of dissatisfaction are in the Middle East and North Africa where 58% of people would be desperately unhappy at work. Algeria 63% and Tunisia  60%, had the unhappiest workers. Qatar, where many Kenyans are running to made the best showing, with 28% happy, 62% mildly unhappy and 10% hating their jobs. East Africa had 53 % unhappy workers, with Kenya leading at 56%.  No wonder, Kenya has the most strict human resource regulations in workplaces as Griffins Wanjala of Peek Consultants opines.
US had 30% happy in their work, 62% mildly happy and 18% who hate their jobs. Where do the happiest workers live? Panama, where 47% love their jobs, 41% are not engaged and 12% are very unhappy.
While their issues may reinforce the suspicion that they are not formed of special clay (the power of the youth),  the challenges they face, by themselves may be a sign of early mastery without mature constraint, self-discovery at a moment when each revelation seems unique. But everything notwithstanding, the crisis rages on.

SIGNS OF THE QUARTER LIFE CRISIS
You get a little scared of your new age(no wonder many people say am just 22)
You get more concerned on dating the Mr. or Mrs. Right
Your parents start asking that inevitable question: “When are you going to have children?”
The fact you’ll never be so young, helpless, and innocent again keeps disturbing you
Second-hand jealously and distancing yourself from the friends who are doing better in life
You start saying phrases like “remember five years ago, when we were in college…” and that will always trip you out

THINGS THAT CONSTANTLY WORRY TWENTY SOMETHINGS
Their looks/ figure
The clothes they have/wear
Jobs/ careers
The places they live in
Getting rich quickly
Finding the right partner
Getting a housing
Getting a car
Travelling abroad

Tuesday 9 June 2015

I OVERCAME ADDICTION TO PORN TO BECOME CELEBRATED TV PERSONALITY: JOHNSON MWAKAZI

Johnson Mwakazi was born and brought up in the sprawling Kibera slums. He had a life of utter poverty. His mother was a maid/househelp at Woodley Estate and would earn Ksh.3,000 per month. They lived in a mud house. And since they had NO toilet,he would relieve himself IN THE HOUSE at night and clear the mess following day.

His dad was a perennial drunk. Who never came home. Johnson went to Kichinjioni Nursery School,then went to Kibera Primary School before winding up at Jamuhuri High School. At Jamuhuri,he met affluent students from rich families and he used to lie to them that he was from Woodley Estate. Not Kibera. Just to fit in.

At age 14,Johnson was introduced to a slum vice. Not drugs or crime. He was introduced to P0RN0GRAPHY. And from that day on,Johnson became a P0RN addict and consequently,a MASTERBATION addict. While his peers would be out there robbing people and indulging in drugs,Johnson would be in the house,watching p0rn and furiously masturbating.


But in 2003,He met Christ. And got born again. And while he was still a fresh born-again Christian,he was still grappling with endemic masturbation. It disturbed him. And he started to understand that it was WRONG,a sin against God and a gross violation of his body. And after a frenzy of fever-pitch prayer sessions and fasting,God enabled Johnson to quit masturbation. FOREVER.

And then after high school,His Mum was sacked. And things got even tougher. More poverty. More struggles. He started going to Kenya National Theatre to act and try to earn a shilling for Mama. He used to walk from Kibera to the National Theatre DAILY. And one day,he met someone who heard his amazing voice and impeccable English and helped him secure a 2 -Year contract at Royal Media's Hot 96 Fm station to voice over in various adverts. And used to earn Ksh.4,000 AFTER 6 months!

While working under contract,he heard that Citizen TV was looking for a News Anchor for the Power Breakfast show. And surprisingly,he got the job! And got a chance to work for CITIZEN T.V PERMANENTLY.

With NO college education. Just his smart looks and amazing voice.

And that Sunday,he went to church and gave a testimony about how he got a job with NO COLLEGE education. And after the service,a woman who heard his testimony approached him and offered to pay for his college Education. There and then.


And today,Johnson Mwakazi remains a staunch BORN-AGAIN christian who praises God EVERYWHERE HE GOES. On the road,in the studio,In his car...EVERYWHERE..

A graduate of Daystar University. A child of God. A product of God's Mercy. A result of Prayer. A father to one child. A loving husband and the provider for his poor mother.

Oh God!

JOHNSON MWAKAZI TOUCHED MY SOUL.

And it doesn't matter what KENYANS on Twitter say about You. Because YOU ARE A ROCK,Brother. THE ROCK OF THE LIVING GOD.

GOD BLESS YOU. Forever.


As Narrated to Cabu Gah





FROM HOUSE-HELP TO GRADUATE, DORCAS WAMBUA SPEAKS OUT

Dorcas with the sponsor who changed her life
 My names are Dorcas Wambua born in a family of five i.e. my two parents and my two sisters Miriam and Faith. I was born in rich family but I grew up from a humble background.
In 2003 when I was in class three my dad passed away and we were left helplessly and hopelessly with no place to call home since my dad’s family had rejected us and took all our wealth and belongings and we had to live a dog’s life putting food on the table was a nightmare to us.
My mum worked tirelessly to keep us in school sometimes we could miss school due to financial break down. Days months and years came and went still in the same situation.
In 2005 my mum begun to be sick, believe me not life was miserable and more worse by that time I was in class 7 I had to drop out of school and work as a house-help for two years (2) in a monthly salary of 1000 shillings and I could safe only 500 shillings for school.
In 2007, my mum kicked the bucket and left us with our little sister who was even breastfeeding. Life continued to be more worse. We could only take a cup of porridge for supper the other two meals we could skip. After my mums, burial one of my aunt took me to her house, my little sister was left with my uncle’s wife while the older sister had gotten married since she could not preserve and cope with the situation. I left with my aunt to a place called Kibwezi where I schooled from class 7 through 8. Unfortunately life was the same you can imagine out of the frying pan into the fire as they say. I could go to school while my stomach is empty. My aunt hated me because I was one of the best pupils in the school and that I was still the best amongst her children. She exploited me by giving me a lot of tasks to do from school I could go and fetch water with a bicycle, at the same time no food they ate and washed the dishes so that when I come I will justice they didn’t cook.
Believe me, teachers could bring me food in school and even neighbors could feel pity for me. She used to cane me mercilessly as if am an animal. K.C.P.E came only to find that I had passed with flying colors.
I used to pray to God to open doors for us. God did miracles to me and I got sponsorship with the whites from Belgium and Netherlands. They took me to a children home. I was surprised to find my younger sister already there, tears of joy rolled down my cheeks surely what a miracle! My sponsors took me through secondary education and right now am in university. All the glory to God. Am now chasing my dreams of being successful lady in future to be a woman of integrity and to be a blessing to many, living as a testimony to many and whenever I retell my history people get encouraged, motivated and moved.
Therefore, everyone has a dream no matter how difficult the situation is trust in God and hope for prosperity in life for God has good plans for us in Jeremiah 29:11, Matthew 7:7 Ask and you shall be given, seek and you shall find, knock and the door shall be opened to you.
Am now going to change my background from rags to riches and from nothing to something all the glory to God lets chase our dreams for they will take us far for you need to observe the future and act before it comes. Yours dreams are an indicator of your potential and greatness. The creation of a thousand forests of opportunity can be found in one small a corn of an idea. Therefore visualize and have a vision because you will perish, focus on a future that is bright and make no plans to go backwards.
Dorcas at her office

MY LIFE WAS A REAL HORROR MOVIE

Growing up the sixth child in a family of ten in a small village in Siaya County was not the positive experience that it should have been. Having come from a large and poor family, my siblings and I went through a lot of challenges. My parents struggled to make ends meet: my father with his meager pay from his job in Nairobi, and my mother as a housewife at our rural village home.
Things became even worse when both our parents died of HIV/AIDS within a short span of each other. We had to find ways and means to survive and go to school at the same time. The rejection we went through in our own community, with neighbors ostracizing us, only added insult to the injury.


Both our parents having died without their first born son being married or having built a house, our homestead was “closed down” in accordance with Luo custom and traditional beliefs: i.e. we, the remaining children, could not step foot into what was once our family home, and had to rely on relatives in neighboring areas to take us in. We were considered outcasts in our own community and even our close friends whom we trusted did not want to be associated with us. The story was the same in school. I can remember that nobody wanted to sit close to us, share a seat or even shake hands with us due to fear of being infected.The struggle and fight of living with HIV/AIDS did not end there. Our last born brother, who was born HIV positive, was under our care, incapacitated by recurrent infections. Medication was very expensive at that time, and it reached a point where we could not take good care of him at home; we arranged to find him a caring place in an AIDS orphanage in Nairobi, Cotolengo Orphanage, where he tragically died a year later at the age of seven.
Despite of all the struggles and unspeakable horrors that we went through in our community, I still had hopes that one day life would change for the better. I worked hard and successfully completed both my primary and secondary education, even after dropping out of school several times. I never gave up or thought of getting into an early marriage, as most of the girls in my community do. With the help of some relatives and the bursary I received from the Rattansi Education Trust, I joined Kenya Utalii College, where I did a 2-year Certificate Program and graduated with honors. I then got a job with the Norfolk Hotel as a housekeeping supervisor, a position I held for a period of five years.
Judy’s Ambition
Being very ambitious and always wanting to move to greater heights, I enrolled at the Kenya Polytechnic College as a part-time student alongside my job at the hotel, and completed my Diploma in Business Management. Besides sponsoring my own studies, I still had the responsibility of taking care of my siblings and other needy relatives. In 2010 I was selected for a scholarship through the U.S. Department of State to further my studies and improve my skills. On June 16, 2010 I left for the United States to further my studies.
Though I never expected to reach this far, I was very excited because studying in the USA was one of my life-long dreams.  My studies and stay in the USA was the greatest experience in my life, and I was greatly impressed by the quality of education in the country. I was also fascinated by the close relationships, love, respect and the family feelings within the community where I lived. My friends enjoyed my company, but little did they know that beneath my happy exterior lay an undercurrent of despair, pain and rejection, only tempered by courage, hope and resolve to reclaim my life. I worked hard and graduated yet again with honors and came back to Kenya in August 2011. My employer, the hotel, had given me study leave before I departed, but a short time into my studies demanded that I send a letter of resignation, which I reluctantly did. Since my return, I have not been able to get another job, something which is very discouraging, considering the long path that I have gone through.
The road to achievement has not been easy; I have struggled to make ends meet and also to lend a hand to the less fortunate. Because of my own personal experiences, I have a different perspective on the world and how people around me should be treated. I believe that my continued pursuit of knowledge and my desire to change the lives of women will make a great difference in my community and contribute to the development of Kenya as a nation.
Since 2007, I have been assisting St. Alice Angel’s Academy, a community-based primary school located in Bondo District of Western Kenya, which educates girls between 3 and 13 years old who have been orphaned (especially by HIV/AIDS) or are from impoverished local families. I have been donating clothes, food, books, and even the little money that I could spare (sometimes as little as $20) when I was working. Due to the increasing number of orphans, I am currently trying to write a proposal to mobilize funds to expand the school.
I strongly hope that my long-term commitment and desire to support girl child education in my community will one day bear fruit. The challenges I have faced have inspired me to be a mentor and a role model to other young girls. My hope is that through better education, and improved livelihoods, young girls will avoid early marriages and exposure to HIV/AIDS. It is my commitment to do whatever I can to influence such girls to go to school and get a quality education.

FROM AN ORPHAN TO A GLOBAL LEADER

In a country where poverty is widespread and thousands of people die every year of AIDS, becoming an orphan at the age of three seems like a death sentence. This was precisely where Sam Mbugua found himself, the youngest of five children left to fend for himself in Kenya. After losing both of his parents, little Sam was admitted into SOS Children’s Village Mombasa. There he grew into an inspiring young adult, dedicated to changing the lives of future generations of Africans.


Sam graduated from SOS Hermann Gmeiner International College in Ghana and was accepted to Sheffield University in England where he excelled in social and political studies. After graduation, Sam secured two internships with the UN, working in the Office of High Commission for Human Rights in Geneva and in the Department of Political Affairs in New York. These internships, combined with his experience as a child growing up in SOS in Kenya, convinced Sam that international development was his passion and calling.
Sam at an SOS Home



Sticking to his motto of “daring to think big and act boldly,” Sam has continued to be successful and temporarily returned to Africa to work as a volunteer with both SOS and the UN. He was one of 40 young people selected as a Global Leadership Fellow at the World Economic Forum in Geneva, a program that prepares young professionals for future leadership roles. Sam enjoyed a combination of a full-time position in the WEF and academic courses that led to a Masters degree in World Leadership by the end of the three-year program.


Sam stops to credit his family-style upbringing in SOS Children’s Village Mombasa as the foundation of his success, saying, “it normalized us in the eyes of our friends and peers.” He credits his SOS mother for the value he now places on education. Sam is now dedicated to inspiring educated Africans to return home in order to reverse the “brain drain” created by African emigration. As the chair of the Kenyan Association in Geneva, Sam is developing ways to keep others like him from abandoning their homeland in search of better economic opportunities. Sam is certain he will return home to live in Kenya.


Sam has developed from a young orphan into a future world leader traveling the globe in order to better the lives of future African generations. This makes him an extraordinary SOS success story. He was given a loving and stable family whose support helped him capitalize on opportunities for a brighter future. When Sam is asked how he has come so far he calls upon his inner strength. “My personal philosophy is that you’ve always got to strive to be the person you expect to see. If we believe in ourselves and believe in our own abilities, we can get a great future.