“It is a cold, wild
world waiting for you”
By Abuta Ogeto
Congratulations to the graduating
class of 2013. I don’t know between your lecturer and aunt Google, who should
take the credit, but I will let that pass.
I know you all wish we could skip to
the part where we call your names; you throw your caps up, take pictures and go
for the party. You will need that party, it is probably the last you will have
for a long time. So I will cut to the chase and tell you what those professors
and others on the dais earning undeserved honorary degrees will not tell you.
First, I do understand the certain
and expectant attitude of those who have been in blue-chip courses; the medics,
lawyers, engineers, planners and architects. I can feel the insecurity around
those in business, economics and their unrealistic expectations in the job
market. I can sense the palpable anxiety of those in Arts and Anthropology who
are wondering where they will find jobs. It is only natural.
The first thing you will learn in
the next few weeks is the depressing gap between fantasy and reality. Start by
forgetting that Ksh 80,000 job you have been dreaming about. It is for the
extremely few and the luckiest. Luck only favours a certain minority, and the
least you expect. So you will have to periodically adjust your expectations.
Soon or later even a Ksh 20,000 job will be good enough.
Another thing you are about to learn
is that some of your female colleagues will never have to work hard in their
lives. Their beauty and voluptuous bodies will guarantee them good jobs,
instant promotions and generally good lives. Such is life, deal with it.
So start by regulating your
expectations. Higher expectations breed more disappointments and
disillusionment. If after a year, you don’t have a job, self-loathing and
reproaching will set in. This often coincides with HELB reminding you to repay
that loan, that they are fining you Ksh 5,000 monthly, anyway. Some will have
to stick with bad and unsatisfying jobs. Some will quit. Life will be harsh on
you so much you will wonder why you were born bright. Your colleagues who went
to tertiary colleges or joined the military are buying houses, getting married
and having a life. You soon discover we don’t author our own lives.
The excitement you have today will
wane as days go by and you realise no one is calling you after dropping your
CVs in 103 organisations. It will take them so long to get back to you until
you get the point: they don’t make more jobs today than they churn out
graduates. Most of you will know what it means to be an adult and broke. For
men for instance, having date will become a luxury, unless you have a very
understanding girlfriend. Good luck with that.
For men, today, don’t impregnate a
woman or marry too soon after college. Family and children will blackmail you
to conform with societal expectations, essentially sticking up with a bad job,
because bills have to be paid. A married man who borrows money to pay rent is a
sad case study. Don’t be intimidated by societal norms, peer pressure, pressure
from your girlfriend or anyone. Be your own man. Nothing stifles creativity
than conformity.
For women, timing will be crucial in
all your endeavours. That Masters, that child, that marriage will give you nightmares
in the short run. Those from poor backgrounds or without means will find
marriage an easier option. It is an experiment that proves wrong when
motherhood slows down personal progress. You have to be careful on what you
give in to first. Choices have consequences. Don’t be complacent.
Don’t compare your life with that of
your friends. Comparison is the death of contentment. From here, life will play
much more differently. Out goes the herd mentality, in comes the capitalist
individual. Some are coming back for their postgraduate in the next intake.
Some will move into business and be rich at a miraculous speed. Some will get
plum jobs. It doesn’t matter. Don’t waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes
you’re ahead. Sometimes you’re behind. The competition is long and, in the end,
it’s only with yourself.
Times will be tough for the
majority. But don’t lose your cool. Be calm. If you lose your cool, you harm
yourself. Some will take longer getting that dream job or any job at all. Or
even getting into business. But eventually, with hard work, belief in self,
things have a way of turning around.
Those who will succeed, remember to
be humble. Life is short. Be good to those around you. Reward those who make
your life easier every day. Your spouse, your shopkeeper, your newspaper
vendor, your mechanic and your security guard. Anyone. Remember relatives who
are less fortunate and pull them up. Education serves its purpose when we all
do good to make our society more equal and equitable.
The theses you have written, the
highly esoteric term papers and your erudite arguments that you hold daily
count for zilch if they don’t bring any good to the less privileged.
If you mess things up, you have to
pick up yourself. Whether it is at the workplace, in relationships, family,
anywhere. Ladies don’t stick in toxic relationship. Men avoid women who might
ruin your life. But should you fall, hold your feet on the ground strong. Cry.
Regret. Move on.
Remember the world can run without
you. Osama bin Laden is gone. Hosni Mubarak and that other dictator from
Tunisia are gone. Muammar Gadaffi, for all his supposedly noble Pan-African
ideas, is gone. Mugabe will go. Putin will go. Nothing lasts forever. We are
all dispensable. And yes, the world can run without you.
Nothing is definite. Nothing is
guaranteed. Nothing is given. All you need is preparedness to deal with
whatever life throws at you. It is a cold world out here. Just find your way
and whatever that brings you happiness. Be patient.
What will be your place? Wherever it
is, find it. And be patient. God’s time is the best.
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